You never forget your first kiss or your first session as a GM. While we can’t help you with the former (but keep your eyes closed and try not to make too much of a mess of his or her face), we have some advice for the latter. In this first installment of a series for first-time GMs, we discuss the initial preparation that you need to do before your first session, from system to goals.
Drinking game bonus: Take a drink whenever we confuse “player” and “character”.
Bad boys, bad boys whatcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do when an unarmed man comes towards you?
Bad boys, bad boys whatcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do when protesters complain about you?
Media now give you no break
Citizens now give you no break
Not soldier man give you no break (Just guns and APCs)
Not even the DOJ now give you no breaks
– New theme to Cops
In this installment of Creature Features, we discuss the police and how to play them as protagonists and antagonists.
“Why would I pay you $100,000?”
“Because if you don’t, the world will know what’s in your … closet.”
“So? I’ve been out of the closet for years.”
“That’s not the closet I was referring to, Brenyax Windwalker the LARPer.”
In this installment of Rogues, Wayne and Lyal discuss blackmail, which is surprisingly still around in this age of the overshare.
Citizen A: Thank you, Reptilon! Thank you for saving our city from Neo-Varlos!
Citizen B: Saving our city? Look around, it’s nothing but rubble now.
Citizen A: Yes, but Reptilon destroyed those buildings by accident.
Citizen B: As opposed to Neo-Varlos who was intentionally trying to destroy them?
Citizen A: Exactly. Even though the results are the same, intention is all that matters in a kaiju battle.
A big creature feature this week as Chris, Wayne, and Lyal discuss kaiju (giant monsters). We draw out common elements and inspiration from the new Godzilla movie, as well as some old classics such as Gamera and the original King of the Monsters, Gojira. (Lyal also frequently mentions Yonggary, which is, according to him, the absolute worst movie ever made.) Then we stomp over to using these city-sized beasts as antagonists, events, and protagonists. It’s a truly titanic episode!
“A long bow and a strong bow,
And let the sky grow dark.
The nock to the cord, the shaft to the ear,
And a foreign king for a mark!”
– Robert E. Howard
In this installment of Warriors, we discuss the English longbowmen and Welsh lngbwmn (probable spelling). Listen to learn how surprisingly easy it is to make a longbow, according to Chris, and how to safely remove an arrow, according to Lyal.
This is another Wayneless episode. He refused to participate in protest over our refusal name this episode “longbowpeople”.
In a world where restraint has died, rifts crisscross the Earth, opening portals to other dimensions. Glitter Boys (not what you think), Cyber-Knights (what you think), Juicers (if you think “post-apocalyptic Lance Armstrong”, then what you think), and vagabonds (what you think – seriously) battle the evil Coalition, demons, and vampires. Are you ready for infinite possibilities, limited only by your imagination?™ (Yep. Palladium trademarked that.)
In this episode, Lyal and Chris provide an introduction to the game where anything goes and everyone is armoured like a tank: Rifts.
A female Thor! A black Captain America! A straight Constantine! This episode has it all true believers, except Asians. Would an Asian Hulk get mentioned on the View?
In this episode, we discuss the recent examples of inclusiveness in comic books and games as well as whether or not you should try to make your games more inclusive. Like everyone else, we forget that Captain Marvel, a black woman, led the Avengers in the eighties and that the previous leader had been Wasp, another woman. Lyal even had those issues.
The article by we mention by neongrey titled D&D, Inclusivity, and Why I’m not Buying the New Edition can be found at the link above.
Note: Due to work and technical issues, our next upload will be Aug. 2.
“Dungeons & Dragons is some of the most crazy, deep, deep, deep nerd s**t ever invented. Every word you’re saying is made up. Motherf***ers talk like Yoda.”
– Ice T’s rejected cover quote for the 5e Player’s Handbook
In this episode, we review the D&D Basic Rules and give our thoughts on whether or not 5e is a success. We also discuss inclusiveness, how spell components should actually be used, and the real reason why there needed to be elves of colour.
“Dungeons and Dragons, first edition, you raped it. You murdered it. You killed my childhood.”
Bradley Martell, the Red Gamer
All seasons must end, so at the end of the fourth, we discuss Game of Thrones, the most illegally downloaded show of all time. (I’m not sure that counts as the iron price.) We share our favorite and least favorite characters as well as the storylines we love and the controversies we, well, love.
SPOILER ALERT: There was no way to discuss the series without discussing the series.
Prof. Harriet “Gears” Hamilton: “Was that London calling?”
Lord Nigel Hollingsworth III: “Yes. Something about engines not running and the city drowning.”
Hamilton: “That sounds dreadfully excessive.”
Hollingsworth: “What do you expect from Lady Annie Christian?”
Hamilton: “The anarchist? I say, she certainly doesn’t know what she wants.”
Hollingsworth: “But she knows how to get it.”
Hamilton: “Oh, how droll! Well, let’s assemble the League. It seems we have some thrashing to do.”
– Another reason why steampunk isn’t that punk.
In our first installment of our subcultures series, we discuss punk. Put your game to our Punk Test, a series of questions on what is punk.
