Have a bunch of hungry of listeners and only one hour to prepare? Well, if you have a corpse in the fridge and a few human foibles in the cupboard, you can satisfy even the most demanding guest with this zesty variation of our Creature Feature series.

Sin-eater Steaks

• 1 corpse, brined in the tears of a condemned man
• a splash of wasted ability
• seven vulgarities, diced
• 1 cup of the last words of a dying man (For a low-fat alternative, use the last words of a toddler.)

Cover the corpse in a sauce made from the ingredients.
Pass through the flames of Hell until the sinner recants or the meat is pink in the middle.
Slice into steaks and serve with sprigs of parsley, uh, from the damned.